An Open Letter to My Younger Self (and Why We Need to Stop Judging Her)
If I could write a letter and send it back in time, it wouldn’t be full of stern warnings or stock tips. It would be a simple, open invitation to share a cup of tea, and look at the person I am now—without the fierce, critical eye I often reserve for myself.
We spend so much time striving for our future goals that we forget to check in with our past selves. And often, we treat the current version of us—the one sitting here, reading this—with a level of judgment that is completely unfair.
The Judgment Test
Think about the young versions of you. Not the versions who were making big mistakes, but the ones who were simply… becoming.
Imagine showing the current you—with all your messy realities, late bills, unfinished projects, and emotional baggage—to your five-year-old self.
Would five-year-old you look at your inability to maintain a perfect filing system and judge you for your faults?
No. Five-year-old you would see the wrinkles around your eyes from laughing, the confidence in your voice when you order coffee, and the love in your heart. They wouldn’t care that you missed the gym three days this week; they’d be mesmerized by the fact that you own a car, can make mac-and-cheese, and have a job that pays for books.
Now, imagine your ten-year-old self. The one who was just starting to feel the first pangs of social pressure and the weight of grades.
Would ten-year-old you focus on your shortcomings? Would they criticize you for those work disagreements or the awkward conversation you had last week?
Probably not. Ten-year-old you would be amazed that you actually made it through high school, figured out how to solve for X, and still have some of your original friends. They would see the journey, the strength, and the fact that you are still trying, every single day.
Finding Compassion in the Retrospect
The truth is, the current you is the product of every single good decision, bad turn, and hard-won lesson your younger selves endured. You are a masterpiece in progress, painted layer by messy layer.
Yet, we hold ourselves to an impossible, airbrushed standard. When we fall short, we don’t offer ourselves the compassion we readily give to friends. We jump straight to the criticism.
But the real magic of this letter is that it changes the conversation from “What are my flaws?” to “Look how far I’ve come.”
Standing in who you are with confidence doesn’t mean you’re done growing. It means you recognize the immense effort it took to simply become this person, right here, right now. It means realizing that your current imperfections are simply evidence that you’re alive, you’re learning, and you’re still showing up.
Your past selves did the heavy lifting to get you to this moment. The kindest thing you can do for them is to appreciate the outcome: you.
Don’t judge yourself so harshly, because five-year-old you never would.
What’s one small thing your younger self would genuinely love and admire about the person you are today? Write them in the comments below.
Written by Sophie Limbourg