The concept of conducting a home study prior to adoption in the United States dates back to the turn of the 20th century when orphans were placed on trains that took them out of the industrialized city and into rural areas of the country where they would be cared for by foster families who ensured that children escaped living in dirty, impoverished conditions. “Child-carers” or, what we refer to today as caseworkers, were responsible not only for ensuring that the families taking in children were equipped with money, food and space for a child but also that they were kind and loving people that would benefit a child otherwise destined to live on the streets of America’s overpopulated cities. In the 1950’s the government established “minimal standards” for homes taking…
“Bitter, Party of One”
Divorce is a very demanding journey often accompanied by expressions such as "devastation", "bitter", "failure", "ruin", and "grief" without giving us the room to breathe. In addition, the process of transitioning out of it is equally taxing. In order to talk about how you can start the transition process, I have invited a trusted colleague, Mary Owens - an experienced and trusted professional in the social-work and life-transition fields with years of hands on experience - to share her own journey of transitioning from being a bitter, party of one into an independent, free woman. Shedding the “Bitter, Party of One" The year following my divorce I spent my time working 70+ hours a week and isolating myself at home with my cats and a bottle of wine. My…
Reclaim Your Self from Codependency
The term Codependent originated in the 1970’s and has been in use for over 40 years. While countless of individuals might have heard and used the word codependent many times in their lifespan, many still do not know the exact truth about what it means. To start, it should be understood that codependence may not entirely be a vice as individuals with this behavior tend to put the need of others above their own which, however, can become very problematic if it is not kept in check. As humans, we will always reach out to others to fill some our emotional needs such as companionship, love, and acceptance. The need becomes a vice when one grows to be overly reliant on another person to meet his/her own emotional needs. It…
Who Is On Your Team?
In the words of Dave Kerpen “The difference between success and failure is a great team.” No matter how smart, talented driven or passionate you are, you could not reach your best alone, as one can only reach a certain level on his/her own. It is GREAT to be a part of something and those who succeed did so because of the teammates who work alongside them. They were able to attract individuals who complement each other, creating an efficient and effective team. Being on a successful team depends on who is coaching you up. Whether it is business or personal life, having the right people in your corner brings only growth. It is often said that the people in your circle show who you are which is not always…
Reclaiming Your Hope
Hope, as Bishop Desmond Tutu eloquently put it, is having the conviction that there is light despite of all the darkness that surrounds us. Without having this conviction, our view on the future would quickly turn grim and it will be translated into our day to day actions. It is something we need to cultivate and we need to start by setting time a side to work on your thoughts and emotions. By taking time to work yourself you are investing in your mental, emotional, and physical health that will enable you to re-calibrate yourself. A practice known as Self Care. A necessary routine that becomes even more so when life seems to demand from us more than what we can give because without it we cannot see the future…
Our Children, Our Imitators
In light of the topic of today's parenting tip, I want to bring your attention to a poem that highlights how children's development is greatly impacted by the reality that they grew up in. If they grow up only knowing one way of living that will be the only life they know. There is truth to the message carried in the poem: Children are always observing and learning from our actions even from the smallest gestures as we are their first teachers and the trusted guide to help them understand this strange world. Thus know and understand the reality that your children are living in So read this poem, let it marinade, and share it. Children Learn What They Live By Dorothy Law Nolte, Ph.D If children live with criticism,…
Know Your Why
Motivation is a vital aspect of our lives. It is the fuel that enable us to endure long hours at work and/or rejection after rejection. However, it is important to remember that motivation is not infinite. There will be a time when you no longer feel motivated. The trick is knowing how to regain that motivation when it seems like the road ahead is longer than expected. There are 5 things that you can do when you are feeling that motivation is fading. What Motivates You It might sound like asking a rhetorical question, but ask this question at different points of your journey and you will find out the source of your motivation at different points. What motivates you at the start of your journey might differ from the…